So the festive season is over and done. But is it? The Christmas tree has to be dismantled and all balls, baubles, lights and tinsels are carefully put back into their boxes.
So we have a bare tree which must be disposed of. No mean feat – it must be dragged outside and chopped into pieces that will fill up the bags to be re-cycled. This leaves the millions of ghastly pins which take about an hour to hoover up.
The Christmas cake is put in a tin for eating later in the year. The turkey has been made into a pie, a curry and enough sandwiches to feed an entire football team.
The New Year celebrations have sprouted an assortment of parties most of which go on and on. Although invited to many parties we prefer to stay at home to pacify the dog who is having a nervous breakdown every time a rocket is fired off.
The resolutions that people make for the New Year are generally broken as swiftly as they are made. I mean there are Sales which need to be visited in order purchase something which when you get home only to find you don’t like it. But they were a bargain so that is alright even though you have broken your vow not to buy any more clothes.
Dieting is tricky. There are a myriad choices but finding one that you like or is endorsed by a celebrity is difficult. If you are clever you can find a diet that helps you lose the unwanted pounds which you have gained over the festive season. Attempting to find one that suits you and makes you think you are getting slimmer is difficult. You will find the family only want to eat their usual food and makes you vow never to try that resolution again.
Of course the only way to lose weight is to eat less. That is simple to say but hard to follow. In fact it will probably be about two days before your body is begging for some real food. But there is a saying - a minute on the lips goes straight to the hips.
You resolve not to shout at the kids/dog and husband. That usually lasts two days before mayhem ensues. So that is another one off the list.
Eating your five a day – fruit and vegetables is impossible to inflict on others. They look good but the only way you can get your children and husband/partner to eat them is to try and disguise them. Sadly you are left with a pile of veggies even if they have been juicing or pureed is out too. Another failure.
Resolution to exercise starts well. Jogging with the dog for twenty minutes doesn’t even get close to losing a pound. So off you troop to the nearest gym. You are asked if you would like a trial before signing up. I did and after ten minutes just wanted to lie down with a blanket over my head and die quietly.
Another ridiculous resolution is that you will only have two glasses of wine a day. Naturally if you go to a dinner party it is only polite to drink a little more apart from the poor person who has been designated to be the driver for the night. From their expressions this is something they do not enjoy. Sipping orange Juice instead of the lovely wine that everyone else is drinking doesn’t make them in the best of moods.
If you have teenagers a resolution is a mine of disasters. A curfew has been made but funnily enough they don’t stick to the time granted. What to do when they come in late and receive a ticking off - cue stomping upstairs and banging their doors very loudly.
Good luck for 2014!
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